Before we get started with these film review series, I just thought I should explain what it’s about. Basically, I’ll be reviewing a bunch of movies (past and present), and its story from a psychology perspective. I started doing these reviews because of a class I took back in university, but I thought it would be interesting to re-upload them again on here instead. Now, I’d like to state upfront that I am no psychology expert, but I mean, I do have a degree in it. So, it sort of counts?
Mickey (Billy Crystal) is a professional referee who travels to France to bury his father, and meets Ellen Andrews, an American living in Paris, who works with the airline Mickey is on. They fall in love soon after, however their relationship would slowly change as they soon hit rough patches along the way.
The best way in my opinion to describe the relationship dynamic and its progression throughout the film can be best illustrated using the triangular theory of love. During the initial stages of Mickey and Ellen’s courtship, I would say that the relationship was highly based on infatuation rather than a romantic love because generally a romantic love would require (passion + intimacy). I say this mainly because of the short amount of time the two spent with each other because in order for intimacy to be established, both parties would have to know extensive knowledge about one another in other to achieve intimacy (Miller and Perlman, 2014).
Eventually, the two marry and not too long after reality sets in when both would realize that their post-marriage arrangement was not practical, as Ellen had to stay back in Paris for her job, while Mickey had to go back to his job as a referee. Although the two committed to each other (passion + commitment = fatuous love), their honeymoon period would eventually run its course between the love birds as the demands from reality would end up to be too much because of the distance and the absence of either partner.
The reality of their relationship was that even though they would try to make compromises for each other, eventually their efforts would not be enough because of other circumstances suddenly coming up. For example, when the couple try to make it work with Mickey’s constant absence in Ellen’s life in Paris, in a whim to make her happy, he takes a year off from his work to stay back with Ellen. However, that effort would soon be wasted when Ellen gets promoted in her job, making her the absent partner all of a sudden, leaving Mickey at home struggling with his father-in-law’s mental illness.
What did not help in their relationship was also the high expectations both of them had of each other, as they would always highlight their magical week in Paris, and would say how both of them had changed so much since the time they first met. Because of this, their current relationship was neglected leaving it to crumble because of Mickey and Ellen’s lack of focus on their current situation at hand.
I think why the relationship did not work overall was because of the high expectations coupled with wrong intentions held by both Mickey and Ellen. Why I say wrong intentions is because when the two met each other, both of them were at their lowest points in their lives with Mickey struggling with his career, and Ellen separating from her husband. When one gets into a relationship in order to conceal the wounds of past pains, the outcome can be less than ideal especially if both partners are not willing to work with each other in order for both parties to grow and heal from their past wounds.
What I liked about the movie was its raw honesty about how love can evolve over time despite how madly in love a couple can be at their initial stages during their courtship. Reality, at its core would eventually require both parties to face frustrations and compromises. In the end, just like any relationship, if you want to make it work, it would require a lot of work from both partners with communication being key.
References:
Miller, R., & Perlman, D. (2014). Intimate relationships (7th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Image credit: IMDB
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